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Hello, I am David X. Cohen, Executive Producer.
And I’m John DiMaggio, voice of lovable scamp Bender from your Futuroma television show.
We made a movie! Just the two of us. It involves cartoons, time travel, sappy crappy pap and funnies. It’s difficult to be funny all the time (especially if you’re DiMaggio) but when you try [...]
Get it?
We’ve got looooooooooooooow low prices over here at Kasheestees Auto Emporium. But don’t take my crusty, gonorrhea-burned word for it!
“This is Duddits. I play left field for the San Diego Chargers. My automobile from Kasheestees is fresh and fine, just like a black girl should!! MMM MMMMMM!!!”
Thanks, Duddits. And let me re-iterate that Duddits [...]
YOU ARE ALL HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
Here’s you:
Here’s me:
Here’s you:
Here’s me:
Here’s you:
Here’s me:
Here’s you:
Get your head together homozexual.
Time to die, Mass Effect.
Isn’t the world a wonderful place? Don’t you love life so much you just want to fuck it?
I wish you guys would stop being so negative about life all the time, and drink the half-full cup and shit. You all sicken me. Life is to be LIVED!!!
Remember what makes this country (Canada) great! It’s you, [...]
Well, well, well. Why am I not surprised? It looks like my dad and his friends have all gotten big baby bonuses even though the stock market is tanking. Smash the STATE!!!! No War for Oil! America for Americans!!!! Freebird!!!
I hate my dad. He’s a plutocrat and is friends with Darth Cheney. I have to go [...]
When you feel alone, and else fails around you, I’ll be there:
Hey, John, it’s another installment of the Sheest. I like to check in and tell ya’ll my worldviews. I got a new webcam!!!!!!
Anyway, punkmonks, I’ve been trying to ruin more books for you, but to be honest, I don’t know how to read good. Where’s Daryl Zoolander when you need a brotha? Warn a brotha! [...]
Sometimes even a guy who has everything, like myself (swimming pools, other people’s cars and wallets, the herps) gets a little down. This week I feel old and gray and from Alaska.
Don’t cry for me, Paraguay, it’s just that my glory days are behind me. I don’t even have a list of horror movies you [...]
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
god I’m feeling a little under the weather.
No, I said I’m feeling under the WEATHER:
There we go. Anyway, for all of those who are so concerned, our civilization is coming to an end. And no, Steven Dorff and his vampires had nothing to do with it. It was more likely my fault. You see, I’m [...]
