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Hey there, folks. This is Derrick Van Winkel Fingers Kasheestees. I am back online and bringing you Kasheestees. Let us put on our serious faces:
whoobs
Let us now party.
It’s been so long, I’ve kind of forgotten how to do this!!! OMG OMG
Rock on, over and out.
Picture me rollin’.
Let’s get this shit started!!!!!!!!! Cabo Wabo!!!!! Show us your tits!!!!!!!
Holy shit! Party men supreme Justin and Dustin are here! Man, that cat Dustin sure knows how to lay the smackdown on some parties. Look at him: He’s uther uckin out of control!!!!!!!
Come on, Roger, wake up! WAKE UP!!!!! Oh my god he’s not waking [...]
Everybody hates Jazz, given. But the worst thing about jazzies is that they don’t even wear suits anymore. They come down on the wrong side of everything, style-wise, and now they don’t even dress respectable! Natch.
Then:
Now:
Let’s UCKING GET HIM!!!!!
Natch. Punk is dead. End program.
Look at him. I mean LOOK AT HIM!!!!! He totally knows I farted.
I mean, they all know. I tried to make it seem as if my shoe made a weird noise, but it totally didn’t go over. THEY ALL KNOW.
QUIT LAUGHING INSIDE MY HEAD!!!!!! I gotta get out of here!
Let’s go Johnny!!!!
It wasn’t that bad. I mean, I think it got bad reviews which led to its poor box office. Another strike against indie cinema.
The fucked up thing is somebody conceived of this thing.
Then somebody had to shoot it. You know it smelled bad in there.
And then, and this is the grossest thing about it all, [...]
This question has bothered me all year and sadly, it feels like I won’t get a satisfactory answer this year:
This is the part of the year where I generally begin my chrysalis into a beautiful all new Derrick! It feels so good to crack open that shell and breathe!!! The blood is the life, the [...]
Hey, John, it’s another installment of the Sheest. I like to check in and tell ya’ll my worldviews. I got a new webcam!!!!!!
Anyway, punkmonks, I’ve been trying to ruin more books for you, but to be honest, I don’t know how to read good. Where’s Daryl Zoolander when you need a brotha? Warn a brotha! [...]
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
god I’m feeling a little under the weather.
No, I said I’m feeling under the WEATHER:
There we go. Anyway, for all of those who are so concerned, our civilization is coming to an end. And no, Steven Dorff and his vampires had nothing to do with it. It was more likely my fault. You see, I’m [...]
I fast-forwarded to Saturday and the reading went absolutely BONKOS!!!! Too bad you didn’t make it. It was our collective best performance yet.
Even Nikki Giovanni showed up!
We took I Stand Alone out to dinner at this expensive bistro. He kept “acting up” and it was quite uproarious. The waitress was rolling her eyes a lot.
On [...]
Don’t fuck with me. I’ve been out in the world talking to all the strange beautiful angel-headed hipsters in it.
Most of my interviews have left me empty inside, like Star Jones. I want my informative blogposties to inform the Kasheestees Nation of its contitrutional obligration to allow each man his freedom and allow each woman [...]
