WHOA!!

I got the rudest awakening this morning!

But once my balls and stomach had peeled off I could return to my daily routine, which includes drinking broskis, watching headbangers ball and occasionally writing a dissertation on Paul Auster.
When suddenly I was visited by an angel, a fucking awesome beautiful angel who had a message for me:

No, [...]

COP REALITY VS COP NON-REALITY: A PRIMER

Just watched two pretty decent cop films recently, Mr. Hot Fuzz, starring England:

And Reno 911, starring America:

These movies were both entertaining, however they failed to get at the truth of the Police Attitude, or Policitude.  And I should know, by the way.

Hot Fuzz was from the makers and actors of Shaun of the Dead, and [...]

Just trying to escape

My favored pet, Imbuglia, named after a popular singer, died today in a prison break. I am saddened. Yet isn’t it the nature of all dumb-ass uncivilized creatures to be free? Don’t we all urge to embark on a voyage, breaking free from the constraints of our parents and stuff?

This is what it means to [...]

ATTACK THE TALIBAN MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND

Some of My Favorite Pals

I’m either gonna hang out with Bill on July 4th (here’s Bill)

Or Johnnie, my old dear friend. Here’s Tommy:

too close to call? I also might be dragging along my new crush…….oh yeah…indian warrior….

Unpleasant News

I have no unpleasant news to give you today. My wife and I just had our first son!!!!

Jamal looks just like his mother (don’t tell my wife that his mother isn’t white! haw haw!)
Things are pretty good at work too!
Move it you crum-bums!! Get the lead out………….of your guns and into those Iraqi kids.
You [...]

QUOTE OF THE DAY

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWHUH!”
-JFK

NAZI GHOSTS RUNNING AROUND IN IRAN!! (apparently)

I wish I had a written a movie like that in the eighties. Instead I was flicking boogers on the wall. Note to teenagers: if you do this on a white wall, people will be able to see. Paint your walls booger-yellow (or green. not that I judge you.)
There’s several things I like about this [...]

YOUR STUPID FAT MOUTH

You think you’re gonna get away with it, but I’ve been monitoring the situation.
You think I don’t know what you’re planning to do with this? I saw that movie where John Malkovitch made a gun out of soap or wood or something. I really like those dudes that shoot guns really fucking fast, like [...]

Big Boy

One of the best things about living in these Uinted States is the iconography. I don’t know about you, but I think the U.S. has the greatest logos in the entire universe. Check this out:
Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’ve got a fat guy with the clothing of a poor person from the 1870s, [...]