|
I can’t believe it was eleven years ago, specials. Eleven years ago to this day, twenty-nine of our brothers and sisters put kool-aid in their poison because a spaceship was hiding behind a comet and they wanted to hang out with them.
I know, we all wish we had gone with them, or that we had [...]
Good luck, nobles! Erin go Blog!
One tequila two tequila three tequila–oh, no.
Anyways, as you all know, today was the day that creeptacular Richard Ramirez, the “Night Stalker,” joined AC/DC. Oh, no wait, it’s when his sociopathic booty started shooting chicks!!! Erin Go Serial Killer!!!
He later went on to write Bittersweet Symphony for the Verve. What [...]
Today was a doozy!
WASHINGTON’S FIRST SEX SCANDAL!!!
Today in 1974 Representative Wilbur D. Mills, a Democrat from Arkansas, resigns from his post as chair of Congress’ Ways and Means Commitee after public outcry. Why were the public so mad? Those buttholes! They’re just a little ill-tempered because police caught ol’ Wilbur driving around drunk with local [...]
Happy scare-day! Happy ghost-ween!*
Whoa! Who the fuck did that!? Seriously, come back here, I will find out your names and report you to the principal!
Damn kids…
Anyway, Harry Houdini died on Hallowfunween*, a fact which I’m sure makes those freedom-lovers in the Taliban really glad. Why? Because they Hate Freedom ™!!! Look at em over there, [...]
Sorry, got a little too busy watching When Friendly Pets Attack on Spike TV:
Eric Clapton admits he shot the sheriff:
Admitted killer Eric Clapton is so overcome with guilt that he offers confession the only way he knows how: through a horribly pretentious noodly lite rock song.
This is actually remembered as a pseudo historical event, because [...]
Princess Di Dies:
That’s right, I’m calling you out Di! What do you got to say to that?
What? What? That’s what I thought.
And I have the internet again! Celebrations are in order! Who brought the schnapps?
I thought since we’re all in such a great mood this sunny summer day, I would show off some photos of me in high school and of exes that have since gained weight.
Like Shannon! I hate you, you dumb bitch! Snap!
Alright that [...]
Once again, I enlighten you all with things that happened so many moons ago…
1914 : First World War erupts
In Europe, there are all these people called Europeans. They had a big fight over who smelled worse. It all started when some dude killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand for some reason:
Probably because they suck, and they’re [...]
I awoke to find these two letters left on my naked chest by some kind of nocturnal angel….
Dear Butthead,
I find your comments about me on this Television program to be absurd, insulting, moronic and insulting. I have long since retired from public life, having bullied both Martin McFly and George McFly and at times even [...]
Here’s where I tell you about important events that people who are dead did. All on this very day!
Hitler publishes Mein Kampf:
Adolf Schicklgruber, also known as Hitler “Eric” Jones, gives up a promising career as a Dadaist painter in order to try and sleep with more women. But how to do it? GET PUBLISHED!! But [...]
