My triumphant return RETURNS!!!!!

Hey there, folks. This is Derrick Van Winkel Fingers Kasheestees. I am back online and bringing you Kasheestees. Let us put on our serious faces:

whoobs

Let us now party.

It’s been so long, I’ve kind of forgotten how to do this!!! OMG OMG

Rock on, over and out.

Picture me rollin’.

SPRING BROKE (One Tequila, Two Tequila, Tila Tequila, Whore)

Let’s get this shit started!!!!!!!!! Cabo Wabo!!!!! Show us your tits!!!!!!!

Holy shit! Party men supreme Justin and Dustin are here! Man, that cat Dustin sure knows how to lay the smackdown on some parties. Look at him: He’s uther uckin out of control!!!!!!!

Come on, Roger, wake up! WAKE UP!!!!! Oh my god he’s not waking [...]

EVERYTHING’S BACK TO NORMAL

Things got weird there for a little while.

But proper steps were taken.

Now everybody’s happy, everybody’s good time.

RELAX gentles…..

Everything is back to normal. Stand down. Return to work. All quiet on the western front.
Goodnight.

I’m Allah

Guess what, evils? I’m back! And you can’t defeat me this time, Michael.

Hear that!?!?!  NO ONE FUCKS WITH BIFF. I happen to be Allah. I just got notification by netflix about it last night so, yeah.

Uh, don’t listen to Louis Friend there, he doesn’t  know what he is talking about.
Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled [...]

Hear Me Now and Understand Me Later

When I saw this clip of my mother’s beauty pageant days, my head fell off. Whoobs.

LOLCATS- Hello Satans

YOU ARE ALL HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
HOMOZEXUALS
Here’s you:

Here’s me:

Here’s you:

Here’s me:

Here’s you:

Here’s me:

Here’s you:

Get your head together homozexual.

Time to die, Mass Effect.

THE GREAT SATAN AIN’T SO GREAT :):):):):):):)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
god I’m feeling a little under the weather.

No, I said I’m feeling under the WEATHER:

There we go. Anyway, for all of those who are so concerned, our civilization is coming to an end. And no, Steven Dorff and his vampires had nothing to do with it. It was more likely my fault. You see, I’m [...]

Chili’s Baby Back Ribs (Barbecue Sauce)

People have been asking me for years how I keep my personal style so current. Well, I’m fucking cavin in: SHEE STEES clothes, Copyright 2001. I mean 8. But actually we won’t get the fall line out until summer of 09, so look for my clothes to be at urban outfitters by January. Here’s my new [...]

Kasheestees Coma Journal: Satan hangs out with me.

Don’t fuck with me. I’ve been out in the world talking to all the strange beautiful angel-headed hipsters in it.

Most of my interviews have left me empty inside, like Star Jones. I want my informative blogposties to inform the Kasheestees Nation of its contitrutional obligration to allow each man his freedom and allow each woman [...]

My dream of dreams came true today!

I finally found the fur-beast to share my life with. The way its paw and my claw fit together, it’s like Doctor Robotnik and Satan created us to be TOGEVVER!!!!!!

We are a PERFECT MATCH. We even have most of the same DNA, so whew! No AIDS for us! (note: to any young people who might [...]