The grand return: It never happens

Sometimes the frustrations of Derrick become too many, my Derricks. In fact, this happens often. Then I go into a well-recorded fit of rage and I post something and then I get over it.
Stage 1:

Stage 2:
Then you don’t hear from me for months like the unabomber. Damn that guy had class.

I try to emulate [...]

ATTEMPT TO MAKE KASHEESTEES BOOK: Part 1: Failure

It has been mentioned to me by my nobles that I can actually put pictures into a visual paper machine called a “book.” Then my huge care of homophob fans would put it on coffee tables whilst they did blow and got “physically intimate.”
Yay!!! Right?

Wrong again, gentles. Wrong again. You’re so gullible. Turns out in [...]

SPRING BROKE (One Tequila, Two Tequila, Tila Tequila, Whore)

Let’s get this shit started!!!!!!!!! Cabo Wabo!!!!! Show us your tits!!!!!!!

Holy shit! Party men supreme Justin and Dustin are here! Man, that cat Dustin sure knows how to lay the smackdown on some parties. Look at him: He’s uther uckin out of control!!!!!!!

Come on, Roger, wake up! WAKE UP!!!!! Oh my god he’s not waking [...]

I just saw 2 girls 1 cup

It wasn’t that bad. I mean, I think it got bad reviews which led to its poor box office. Another strike against indie cinema.
The fucked up thing is somebody conceived of this thing.

Then somebody had to shoot it. You know it smelled bad in there.

And then, and this is the grossest thing about it all, [...]

Today In Alternate History

1984: The war betwixt Titans began.

FURTHER EVIDENCE:

Uh……Pimlico?

Harsh reality time!!!!! 

The harsh reality is that hardcore music was JUST as lame when whiny former school bullies started shaving their heads. But the eye-liner and the INCORRECT hair is enough to make fucking Boy George gag on coke. Bring it down a notch, emos.

That’s better. Now go jerk off to the new issue of [...]

Chili’s Baby Back Ribs (Barbecue Sauce)

People have been asking me for years how I keep my personal style so current. Well, I’m fucking cavin in: SHEE STEES clothes, Copyright 2001. I mean 8. But actually we won’t get the fall line out until summer of 09, so look for my clothes to be at urban outfitters by January. Here’s my new [...]

My dream of dreams came true today!

I finally found the fur-beast to share my life with. The way its paw and my claw fit together, it’s like Doctor Robotnik and Satan created us to be TOGEVVER!!!!!!

We are a PERFECT MATCH. We even have most of the same DNA, so whew! No AIDS for us! (note: to any young people who might [...]

KASHEESTEES confronts real issues: Monster interviews part 1.

Here at I Hate Kasheestees Racists, we like to get up in dude’s faces and ask them questions, because we like the smell of their musk. Since October is right around the corner, we decided to start interviewing monsters before they got busy scaring the shit out of our children and drunk college students. Why [...]